


Breathe Your Life Into Me

by femaletitan



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Abandonment, Betrayal, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hugs, all the hugs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-22
Updated: 2017-12-22
Packaged: 2019-02-18 10:39:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13098360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/femaletitan/pseuds/femaletitan
Summary: Hiding out in Coerthas after the betrayal in Ul'dah and separated from their comrades, Alphinaud and the Warrior of Light withdraw into themselves to cope in their own ways. Little do they know that together they are stronger than they could ever be apart.Uses my own WoL but feel free to insert your own! ^^





	Breathe Your Life Into Me

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by and containing quotes of "Breathe Into Me" by Red, just in case you want to listen, otherwise its not crucial to enjoyment of the story!

**Breathe Your Life Into Me**

**_‘And this is where I lose myself when I keep running away from you’_ **

Jesi’s eyes narrowed as she focused solely on the pack of wolves in front of her, blocking out everything else: the flurrying snow whipping through her hair, the cold sinking its fangs into her exposed skin, ice crystalizing on her horns and scales and, perhaps most importantly, the events that had transpired in Ul’dah. She brought out her staff, allowing herself to momentarily draw comfort from its familiarity in her hands. She closed her eyes and began invoking the power of the elementals to barrage her enemies in crushing stone and piercing wind.

Truly these animals were no match for her, but they served their purpose, to fuel The Excuse. The Excuse that gave her leave to avoid Camp Dragonhead for as long as possible, let her have respite from the impassive and draining mask she kept up while around others (mostly for Alphinaud’s sake in recent days) and let Jesi take out the pain and rage from the horrific betrayal at the banquet at any monster or ne’er-do-well that dared look in her direction.

She was able to forget being the Warrior of Light, Scion of the Seventh Dawn, revered Primal Slayer and currently one of Eorzea’s Most Wanted Women and go back to the joy found in violence that all Xaela tribes experienced. Bloodlust was a powerful thing and during her time studying conjury and White Mage responsibilities she had contained it within herself, ignoring it for the most part, but out in the bleak, snowy lands of Coerthas she let it free. The corpses of the pack now lay scattered around her, blood soaking the snow, her cane and herself. But it was satisfying and therapeutic and not at all a sustainable pastime but dammit Jesi really couldn’t care less.

She snarled at their lifeless forms, baring her fangs and enjoying the fleeting feeling of euphoria, victory and control. She then turned on her heel and marched off through the snow, sheathing her weapon as she went. The joyous feelings were already leaving her system and her conscience was preparing another internal lecture for her Au’ri tendencies. You should know better than this Jesi. You’re meant to be above this Jesi. What would people say Jesi. What would the Scions think Jesi? What would ALPHINAUD think Jesi? Her eyes had drifted shut as she walked, letting the mental torrent of harsh reprimands wash over her, but at the mention of Alphinaud’s name they shot open and she stopped where she was and sat heavily in the snow.

What would he think? Admittedly she felt a little foolish that the at first pretentious and way too self-assured lordling had so much power over her mind, but their forced companionship throughout the last few months had rendered him an irreplaceable part of her life (and her heart). He had been so broken by Ilberd’s and the rest of the Crystal Brave’s betrayal and had been looking to her for support and counsel over the past few days as he came to terms with what had transpired and began to pick up the pieces. If he saw what she became when no one was around, and she was beholden to no one, when she wasn’t calm and steady and dependable, when she let it show how much Ul’dah had hurt her, he would surely sink back into desperation. For if the Warrior of Light was struggling than how could he be expected to cope?

The Excuse wasn’t going to hold up for much longer and she couldn’t stay away from the poor boy forever. In all honesty he was probably feeling just as abandoned and angry as she and Jesi had essentially up and left him too. That final realization pierced her heart with guilt and she was immediately galvanized into action, running back to Camp Dragonhead.

**_‘And this is how I break apart when I finally hit the ground’_ **

Alphinaud hadn’t left his quarters since Jesi had gone to assist in the culling of pests in the area surrounding Dragonhead. He wasn’t sure how long an errand like that was supposed to take but he had a feeling it wasn’t the three-almost-four days she had been gone. He drew the blankets tighter around his body, still feeling the chills despite the fire in his room. She’s probably given up on you too his brain sneered at him. She doesn’t need you to hold her back. She’s the Warrior of Light and you’re the failed commander and disgrace to the name Leveilleur. Fresh tears welled up in his eyes and began trickling down his already tearstained cheeks at the thought.

What if she never came back? He was in the care of Hauchefaunt and the number of people who knew his location could be counted on a single hand. He would be safe, but he would also be horrifyingly lonely. He and Jesi had grown remarkably close over the last months, despite the beginning of their partnership being only to benefit his vision of Eorzea’s future. But slowly she had gotten under his skin and he began seeking out her company more and more until they were almost inseparable.

Instead of wanting her to kill and serve, Alphinaud wanted her to smile and talk more. She was a stoic support when he felt daunted by an impending diplomatic catastrophe or was overwhelmed with fighting the Garleans, her calloused, warm hand sometimes squeezing his own to let him know she was there. She inserted himself in front of him, shielding him, whenever peace was turning sour and talking would soon become violence. He longed for her calm, soothing words and gestures that centered him on what needed to be done.

She had done so much for him, for the Scions, for Eorzea. And what of him? When she was thrown on the ground at the banquet, bound and beaten, he wasn’t there for her or even the other Scions. Maybe it was better that she left him behind. Then she could focus solely on clearing her name and finding the others they had left behind. And he would be fine with it. Probably. Maybe. Not at all if he were being truly honest with himself. But if she wouldn’t leave him, then he would go.

For the first time in days Alphinaud had direction. He got off the bed and wrapped the heavy alpine coat Jesi had swathed him in when they arrived at the Coerthan Border around his shoulders. Grimoire in one hand, linkpearl clenched in the other he let himself out of the room and through the rest of the building until he stood out in the biting wind. Turning towards one of the gates he began walking, praying to The Twelve that no one would notice his departure.

He began planning, as his scholar mind did whenever faced with a problem. Locations to stay, places to obtain food and other necessary travel supplies. His family name would ensure that he could move around with relative ease and his arcanist skills would come in handy if he needed to work to pay his way forward. The process took his focus off his turmoil of emotions and the horrid weather and he barely noticed the draconic form until it nearly ran into him.

**_‘Breathe your life into me’_ **

Strong arms wrapped around his thinner frame, scale-adorned hands smoothing his hair and pressing his face to the crook of similarly bedecked neck. His own pale, shivering hands gripped onto the front of a cloak and his knees could barely hold him up and relief and warmth flooded his system. He sank to the ground and his assaulter followed suit, keeping him shielded in their embrace. “Alphinaud”, a familiar female voice crooned into his ear and he all but collapsed into the unexpected but definitely not unwanted hug and attempted to say Jesi’s name.

She emanated safety and affection and she was here and she hadn’t left and all thoughts of leaving abandoned Alphinaud’s mind until only Jesi was left. “I’m sorry I left you for so long,” she whispered to him, “I knew you were hurting and still left you all alone.” A sob escaped Alphinaud’s throat at her apology, for how could she blame herself?

Jesi breathed in deeply, enjoying the feeling of the boy curled into her chest and she swore to herself that she would never truly let go of him again. Her hand remained in his hair, stroking softly in a way she hoped was as soothing to him as it was to her. She had scared him, she realized now. And the guilt from that wound around her heart and she clutched Alphinaud to her tighter. For his part Alphinaud felt more secure and whole than he had since the Sultana’s banquet. Jesi’s steady, strong heartbeat lulled him into a serene daze and he barely noticed her pulling back until her rough, warm hands cupped his cheeks.

“Alphinaud, I know you’ve been taunting yourself with your perceived uselessness, thinking yourself a burden. But it couldn’t be further from the truth. Eorzea still needs you, the Scions certainly still need you and I still need you.” His mouth parted slightly at her admission and he forced himself to swallow before he spoke. “You need me?” Jesi nodded in response, familiar smile playing on her lips. Pure joy washed through Alphinaud’s heart and he flung his arms around the Au Ra woman’s neck, unbeholden to how he usually would conduct himself.

Jesi laughed softly at him and neither of them could deny the warm feelings sprouting within their chests. Soon though, the snow became too cold to ignore any longer and the pair was forced to withdraw indoors. However, as they rose to leave, Alphinaud took hold of Jesi’s palm, clasping their fingers together. With a small smile in her direction and a squeeze of her hand he began trekking back the way they had come.


End file.
